P.S. Just A Quick Note…….Or A Thank You!!!

To all 2,409 people who had read my little blog I thank you. As it is nice to see somebody saw it.

The past six months have been a ride I never thought I would have been on. In writing these last four months I have learned to let go of some things and I have also learned some new things. Which in itself is no small feat as I am as stubborn as a mule.

 

Even though I brought divorce-games to  an end earlier than I anticipated I do plan on starting another blog soon so I hope that all 2,409 that had read this will eventually check out my next one.

As always I welcome any and all comments so please feel free to say/write something!!!

Yes my impending divorce hurt and yes I ran the gambit of emotions but in the end life goes on and therefore so must I.

 

So I will end this with the following………

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”

-Anonymous-

Thanks Again Everyone!!!

 

Advertisements

The End Of My Little Story (A Day Early)………..Or Every Thing Ends One Way Or Another

So here we are May 28, 2014….One day before what should have been a very happy and fulfilled fourth wedding anniversary for me and my soon to be ex-wife. Well guess that didn’t turn out the way I thought.

Then again a lot of things in my life haven’t turned out the way I thought. But in the end I am a better person for it. Even, if I go off the deep end of the pool and land flat on my head at the bottom of the pool.

Yes I have used this forum to say what I feel/felt through this whole thing, and some of it was hateful and hurtful towards the soon to be ex. But at the time I wrote it, everything was what I felt. So I make no apologies to her or her little boy because I have done what I needed to do to keep my sanity in all of this. The only thing I am sorry about is that I was blind to some things and our marriage did not work out.  But hey it was both of us in the end me for not seeing or understanding and her for running to the little boy she now lives with.

This whole blog has been very therapeutic for me which was its intent. I had originally wanted to continue to post up to and after our divorce, but now I feel no need to. There will be nothing special about it. She gets nothing I get nothing. We agree and the Judge signs then we are done.

I last talked to my wife on May 21, 2014. She called to see if I got the papers from her lawyer yet. When I told her I will send them out sometime in June as I had more important things to worry about she got a little upset, but hey why should it matter at this point, she has the perfect happy life she wanted so it will get done when it gets done. I still find it hilarious that when we last spoke on April 17, 2014  she asked me what my rush was to get it done when I told her just get the papers to me.

Since I did receive a separation agreement, I find it kind of funny since in the State of New Jersey there is no legally recognized separation needed.  Also kind of strange since we have already divided up our assets and we have no jointly held property. Makes me wonder how much this lawyer of hers is fleecing her for.

 Personally if I wanted a divorce that badly where I jumped in bed with another woman prior to leaving my spouse and had the other woman move in less than a week after she moved out I would have had divorce paperwork ready to be signed. But whatever, I’m not paying for it.

So I hope my soon to be ex-wife enjoys “our” wedding anniversary and I hope she also enjoys her trip to Virginia Beach with her boy-toy….since we were supposed to go to A NASCAR Race and Rehoboth Beach in Delaware

Well with that my little rant is done, and it will be very interesting to see where the next chapter of my life brings me…….because it’s been a very strange, fun in some aspects (not many but some) heartbreaking, screwball journey so far….but hey it’s all fun and games in the end.

I can only wish my soon to be ex-wife the happiness that she seeks, since I clearly couldn’t give it to her. So in closing I haven’t given up on love or the idea of marriage….and no I haven’t redefined my idea of true love………..so I will leave all of my faithful readers the meaning of true love as I see it.

Take care and God Bless!!!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient, love is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, 5 it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of complaints, 6 it isn’t happy with injustice, but it is happy with the truth. 7 Love puts up with all things, trusts in all things, hopes for all things, endures all things. 

What My Wonderful Soon To Be Ex-Wife Lost……….Or My Second To Last Post

So as promised what follows is my list of what she has lost in wanting to divorce me. Now this is purely what I think so some people may or not agree with me, so I as always I welcome any and all comments.

1)      A husband who never questioned where she went, with who, or what time she came home.

2)      A husband who always went out of his way to give her anything she wanted, and sometimes he spent my last dime to do it.

3)      A husband who always did anything or went anywhere  she wanted to

4)      A husband who never hit her or abused her

5)      A husband who always valued her opinion

6)      A husband who whenever money was taken from her paycheck or savings account always gave it back to her, but when it was his money she needed for herself he never asked for it back

7)      And Finally a husband who accepted her and loved her unconditionally for who she was and never expected her to change

 

So it’s not that long of a list but it is what I feel she lost, now if her new lover/roommate/boy-toy/soon to be husband can give her all that then I congratulate her, because she got real lucky in finding two people who are exactly the same.

I’m not saying I’m perfect as I will fully admit (as I have always done in my postings) I do have my faults and yes I had a hand in this whole mess. I truly loved my wife and was happy with her, even when we had our arguments or I was upset I NEVER ONCE thought about being with someone else or getting a divorce, but in hindsight as a close friend pointed out to me recently.  If she was that quick to hop in bed and live with another man she never truly loved me. Now once again before anybody jumps on the “yes she did” band wagon, this is my thoughts and feelings only.

So I leave you all with this a quote from New York Times Columnist Gerald F. Lieberman (1923 – 1986)

“Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.”

Gerald F. Lieberman

Well my last post will be on 29 May which is very poetic as it will be what should have been our very happy fourth wedding anniversary (I guess it sort of still is since we are still married).

Till next time dear readers….be safe and God Bless

Almost The End Of This Little Journey

So I have decided to end my little blog a little earlier than I had anticipated for various reasons.

Let me start off that my original intent was to write out about my little lovely divorce right up till the end and maybe a little more.

However, my writings have served their therapeutic purposes a lot sooner than I have even could have dreamed of back in February when I started my writings. So with that being said this is my third to last posting as I have one thing that I did promise everyone…the list of everything that my soon to be ex-wife has lost when she decided she did not want to take our separation for what it was and go to marriage counseling. This list will be my second to last posting sometime next week and my last posting will be in about three weeks after that on the best picked day possible May 29, 2014….What should have been our fourth wedding anniversary (I guess it still is since we are still married…right??)

Now this is what I have planned out for right now…If for some reason something happens within my little divorce story I will post the details. But I do not expect anything to happen for two reasons

1)      I have not heard from my soon to be ex-wife in almost a month (could be a good thing??)

2)      I have not received any paperwork from her attorney which tells me there are a few possibilities. He is waiting till he’s paid in full by her, or she has not figured out what she wants but I hate to tell her “Sorry honey that ship has sailed and sunk by your own choices” or last but not least she is waiting for me to pay for it which I WILL NOT DO she wanted she can pay for it.

So now that the rest of the month is laid out…onto current events…..

The last few weeks have been fun and have raised some interesting thoughts about things such as life, love, happiness, etc….

Through friends some of them old friends and some of them new I have been able to come to terms with a lot, forgive a lot, and basically move on with my life wherever that is going to take me. I have enjoyed reconnecting with some friends from the 6 years I spent in the Jackson Township NJ school system. Now if only sometime in the near future I can reconnect with people I knew from my time in Washington Township (Gloucester Country for those that know there is five Washington Townships in NJ) and South Plainfield NJ.

I have been able in the span of three months leave my job and start a job I never would have thought I would have, actually be happy with the circumstances of my why I am living where I live, I will admit sometimes I hate it but it is what it is. Learn that I could maybe love someone again if given the chance, and realize I am not the one who made the final mistake, yes I will as I always admitted here in my writings have made mistakes in my marriage but she made the final one and so be it.

So my faithful readers till next time I will leave you with the following quote from Nicola Tesla who was the worlds most gifted scientist and visionary (or crazy nut ball depending on your view) even to this day his accomplishments are still being built upon.

“Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter. When they separate, man is no more.”

AS ALWAYS I WELCOME ANY AND ALL COMMENTS!!!!

Awe How Cute….History Repeats Itself

So yesterday my wonderful soon to be ex-wife took her “boy-toy” to the same tattoo parlor (and I’m willing to bet the same artist too) she took me when we were together our first year. I’m just curious and wonder did she pay for it too as she did mine. Now before anybody says anything I had a previous tattoo with my first wife’s name and my soon to be ex-wife wanted me to have it covered up, so it was her “valentine’s day” present to me.

So here’s the time line so far for me and her as well as her and her “boy-toy”

Me and Her:

March we became a couple

June I moved in with her

February we go to the tattoo parlor

Her and her “boy-toy”

November they became an adulterous couple

January He moves in

April he goes to the same place (except she drove this time because he does not have a vehicle)

So since the two “lovebirds” are moving at almost double the rate of time me and her did things, I wonder if they will get married after being together for two years instead of four.

NOW for a little farfetched fun,  if you take my theory a little further their wedding should cost $20,000 not $10,000 and they should be getting a divorce in two years instead of four.

I know the marriage, cost, and divorce parts of my theory are pure speculation on my part. (I do know a few things from some of “her” so called friends that the marriage part may not be that far off, but at this point it’s just hearsay because as far as I know he has not decided on an engagement ring as of yet.) However that would be pretty good poetic justice in a way wouldn’t it??

So till next time my wonderful faithful readers…..I will leave you with this quote from one of the best Contemporary Christian/Adult Pop singers in the last almost 40 years (ok she’s been performing for 38 years)

“Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be good will last very long.” – Amy Grant

Now as a post script (and a little hindsight) I guess the above quote is 100% absolutely true because my soon to be ex-wife obviously did not respect me or our marriage and that is clearly evident through her actions since November 2013.

WOW….Now I’m In Total Amazement

So apparently my posting yesterday has “ruffled” some more feathers along the way. It’s kind of funny how the truth will do that to people.

So Once Again I find myself in need to remind some of my more “loyal” or “dis-loyal” readers depending on who says what or at this point I can even say which way the wind is blowing……of the following:

I never once mentioned any names…and as I have said before there are always three sides to a story..you have one person’s view then the other person’s view and the truth in the hazy middle….so with that being said this is my blog ( https://divorcegames.wordpress.com/ ) it is my story and only my side of the story…If a person has an opinion then please by all means post a comment on it…I am all about free speech but if that offends anyone, upsets them, or they just plain don’t like it I am sorry but on the same note 

you DON’T HAVE TO READ IT

No One Says You Need To Read What I Write Here….No One Says You Have To Like What I Write.
BTW..as long as I express everything as my opinion (which I have) on this blog. and DO NOT MENTION NAMES (Which I don’t)..it is considered free speech under the first amendment….therefore it cannot be considered libelous/slander or harassment.

I always say soon to be ex-wife  (which is true), her new “love” of her life, little boy, boy toy, etc… when referring to her new love interest (which is my feelings because of 1) A real man does not go for another man’s wife and 2) As long as me and her are still married I will call him what ever I want)

I find it totally hilarious how some people also get upset and all wound up whenever I mention the fact that my soon to be ex-wife is having an “adulterous”  affair (which according to MY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS IS TRUE)

I also find it totally downright screwball funny that whenever I post something on here (like yesterday) which is nothing but the truth (at least my point of view) and my feelings on the subject that other parties feel the need to jump in and get involved.

As my father told me years ago when I used to get into fights at school, if some one says something don’t be so quick to react, your first question should be to yourself “is it true?” If it is then you don’t have a leg to stand on, If it’s not then why are you getting so angry over it, as it’s only words and that person’s thoughts on the subject. So why fight or argue at all??

SO in closing once again everything here in this blog is presented with NO NAMES MENTIONED and is presented as MY SIDE OF THE STORY AND MY THOUGHTS AND MY FEELINGS.

If my soon to be ex-wife does not like what I post here she can say her side which she has once and I presented her side as fairly as possible with nothing taken out except for one small item but, I did go on in my answer to that point to say to her “get over it already” which is true as she ALWAYS seems to bring up that one thing. She can also start her own blog and present her side if she is so worried about what I say. Hell even the people that call my phone and leave a voice mail that says what I write is harassment is more than welcome to comment on here and/or start a blog of their own to say their side of the story.

As I have also stated before I have never hit my wife and I have never cheated on her and I ALWAYS went out of my way to give my wife everything she wanted even sometimes to the point where I was flat broke. However I will fully admit that I am guilty of ignoring her to where she wanted the divorce. Before you pass judgement on me for that, just know and understand what happened in the year or two before we finally separated. Which I gave a general rundown when I started this blog.

Thanks Again For Reading And As Always Please Feel Free To Post Your Comments….I WELCOME THEM!!!!

OK Now I Am REALLY PISSED OFF!!!

Normally I have been posting on Wednesday or Thursday but the events of yesterday as Peter Griffin would say “What Really Grinds My Gears” is when children are hurt especially my kids, pushed me to post today instead.

I really was dumbfounded and in a state of shock when my wife told me she wanted the divorce. Then I was hurt when she started with the “new” love of her life and he moved in with her so quickly. YES I will admit I have taken some pokes and jabs at her on Facebook and this little blog, especially with the whole adultery thing (but the truth is the truth) so I fully understand she’s pissed off at me or hates me.

But for almost eight years she was a big part of my all three of my children’s life. She always told them she loves them and cares for them. The fact we are separated and are getting a divorce hurt my kids enough. She did not need to add insult to injury.

Yesterday was my oldest son’s birthday and in eight days it is my middle son’s birthday. My oldest was VERY hurt by the fact the she did not even have the decency  to even call him just to say “Happy Birthday” and I am more than sure she will do the same in nines days to my other son as well.

I even went as far as sending her a text message several times through out the day that included my son’s cell phone number so she would have no excuse. But all day no call from her. For someone who “claims” to love all kids and for eight years told my kids she loves and cares for them to me it is was the only thing that really pissed me off about this whole thing.

It’s really nice to see that she is so much into her new found love/lust/room mate with benefits or what ever the hell you want to call it that she can be so hurtful to my kids. But at least my kids now know that more than likely she never meant anything she ever said to them the whole time that she was with me.

So as a message to my soon to be ex-wife quoting the wonderful words of Dr. Denis Leary

“FUCK YOU”

I also hope she enjoys the video as well………